The recent press conference, held by NSN in order to discover the current state of affairs concerning war with Iraq and other malicious and evil countries such as Sweden revealed to the nation and indeed the world how much courage Mr Bush does have. President Bush admitted, on live TV that he was going to declare nuclear war on all countries that 'he didn't like'. This astonishing information was obtained following a live broadcast on the NSN News Network of the conference. Mr Bush, who inadvertently made the comment to the secretary of state, before a scheduled break in the proceedings has as of yet made no comment about his declarations.

This statement by Bush holds many implications, in particular, to those countries which he does not like. NSN has summarised the countries that now have an impending Nuclear attack:

1. Iraq.
Reasons for dislike:
a) Creation of various terrorist organisations such as IMPRAAK ('Ignite Me Please, Run At And Kill'), LEFT ('Leave Everyone For Tea-Time') and the infamous SPANK ('Saddam's Pathetic-Agression Nasty Killers') .
b) Saddam Hussein (full stop).
c) See Above.
d) Possible Terrorist threats including bio-chemical and germ warfare.
e) Grudge.

2. Europe
Reasons for dislike:
a) Do not support the Death Sentence
b) French food once caused great displeasure within the Bush family following a nasty choking incident
c) Having to intervene in the 40s to stop a War they did not want to be involved in.

3. Japan
Reasons for dislike:
a) They still hate the USA for the 'overkill' attacks and must be silenced before this hate manifests itself in an unhealthy manner.

4. China
Reasons for dislike:
a) EVIL Communism where 'everyone is equal' and capitalism could never work.

5. Most Other Countries
Reasons for dislike:
a) Mainly for not buying enough of American Capitalist Companies' goods, thus destroying the economical state of the nation.
b) Random small arguments that have occured in the past, for example problems with economic sanctions or killer bees.

NSN advises all citizens of these countries to practice 'Nuclear Attack Drills' regularly, particularly the duck and cover technique which could save millions of lives (but only if these people have not offended Bush in any previous way, otherwise they should die really, shouldn't they?).

On NSN Network TV Channel 2 (NSN-NTV2), the conference will be repeated at regular intervals throughout the day, and shall be all this week. We Will also be providing viewers with up to the date information and inside info on all the guilty nations. Should a Nuclear Attack occur, we will be right there in the thick of the action getting YOU all the gritty details FIRST.