"At first I thought it was a Christmas decoration" stated a bewildered Mrs. Burton as she saw a precariously balanced dog sitting in her ancient Atlas Cedar, a nine foot high tree, in her front garden.

A normal Sunday afternoon and Mrs. Burton (aged 67) was quietly watering her new selection of Begonias when she noticed something slightly amiss about her Cedar tree that had been planted in the yard for many years, since before Mrs. Burton's time.

"I noticed a shiny liquid on the trunk and at the bottom of the tree; I thought to myself 'that tree never ever has any sap'",

Little to our heroine's knowledge the 'shiny liquid' was actually being ejected from a terrified young German Shepherd's penis. After inspecting the liquid and discovering a puppy in her tree, although first thinking it was some type of Christmas decoration, she called the Fire Department and they quickly 'disposed' of the problem. "I thought only cats got stuck up trees" declared Mrs. Burton, although it is now coming to belief that all cats have a natural phobia of trees and that the whole tree climbing malarkey is simply an urban myth, a legend designed to scare small children.

Soon after it was brought to knowledge that the German Shepherd was four month old Dagwood, belonging a to Miss. Ishta whom only lived a few blocks away. She didn't know quite how her beloved Dagwood had managed to get itself up the tree but evidence suggests that a fruit stall, a fast car and three hundred pounds of crack cocaine were involved.

Therefore we can conclude a happy ending all round. Mrs. Burton is currently in intensive care after receiving major heart surgery and Mrs. Ishta has been taken into custody after being found to be an illegal immigrant, Dagwood has not been seen since.