11th January 2003:
The State of the Planet
by Foreign Correspondent

It was uncovered yesterday by the international spying community that a large religious sect located in the Rocky mountains in the state of Montana, USA is implementing a plan to change the planet into a giant apricot.

The cult are known as the "The Lords of Fruit" and are presumed armed and insane. The Plan code named "Operation Tutti-Fruitti" has already changed much of the north pole into a giant stalk. Crack undercover agents have already been sent out to combat the plan.

They are expected to succeed at the last moment as they have on previous occasions in which the world is threatened.